Robots – Oh Fuck!

Death by Viagra

28.09.2010 (1:06 pm) – Filed under: Pictures

Mwa ha ha ha ha!

S.x

Broken cars from Gateshead Motors

16.09.2010 (11:49 am) – Filed under: Whelks

My friend has recently bought a 1999 BMW 520i from the Gateshead Motor Company. He’s a bit pissed to say the least. The ways in which car sales people manage to conduct business these days just seems a little on the greedy side and at times I’d like to shoot them. I fucking hate salescunts. Cunts cunts cunts and bloody twats.

Damn, I just laughed at myself for “salescunts”.

(( READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE ))

S.x

Slated

10.09.2010 (2:18 pm) – Filed under: Pictures

Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

S.x

A frightening shampoo

04.09.2010 (5:32 pm) – Filed under: Whelks

The term Shampoo comes from the words Sham, meaning false or artificial, and Poo, meaning poo.

Real Poo

The use of real poo as a hair care product continued well into the mid 19th century. All but the richest members of society would purchase their poo from Albert Wallbeast of London, who in turn employed night soil men to collect it. Sadly it turned out that much of this was being collected from leper colonies, and although the populace were not too concerned about the poo as a vector for carrying the disease, many were upset to find detached bits of leper stuck in their locks.

The then Mayor of London decreed that this would plainly not do. Wallbeast was put on trial for making the populace feel a bit icky, found guilty, and forced to leave London on pain of a stern tongue lashing should he ever return.

The Alternative

As poo had become synonymous with hair care, it was logical to keep the name, and this is what Sir Bernard Whippy did when he finally settled on his poo replacement in 1876. Sir Bernard had previous experimented with other replacements for human poo, including the dung of various farm animals. These trials were aborted after trialists complained that the products made their hair smell of… well, dung.

The release of Whippy’s shampoo was greeted with rapture by many sections of society, apart from some purists who bemoaned that it “didn’t smell dungy enough.”

It is thought that Sir Bernard’s last words on his death bed were aimed at the poo puritans. “Fuck the lot of them. Miserable whining bastards.”

S.x

I lol therefore I am (and other meanings of lol)

01.09.2010 (3:22 pm) – Filed under: Whelks

fuck lol

FUCKING SICK OF IT


  • Laugh Out Loud: invitation to and motivation for someone who’s humor-challenged, someone who takes life too seriously, a license to loosen up and have some fun.
  • Lots Of Love: straight from the heart; a warm fuzzy feeling that can travel across electrons.
  • Left Over Love: the one you still have for your former sweetheart.
  • Loser Of Losers: for someone you really despise, or someone you’re frustrated with; the worst kind of loser; worse than a loser.
  • Left Over Loser: a loser that is sour; may be the same as a sore loser, only worse off.
  • Lord Of Lords: no, not “Lord Of the Ring”; that would be LOR. LOL in this case is a title of that most popular person whoever lived — Jesus Christ, whom the Bible calls “Lord of Lords”.
  • Learn Or Lose: similar to sink or swim; that’s what you tell someone who lacks any drive, who’s too lazy to get off his butt, leave the cave, kill something and drag it home.
  • Lots Of Lies: refers to a habitual liar; please don’t say President Bill Clinton, and don’t you say President George W. Bush.
  • Live Or Leave: for someone who needs to get a life; also for a child who refuses to live by your rules, though he or she eats your food, sleeps in your house, rides in your car with your gas in it, not to mention that the child came from your loins or womb in the first place.
  • Leave Or Live: same as the above.
  • Log Off Loser: insult for your Internet adversary, a faceless enemy whom you wish to suffer electronic dead end or electronic death.
  • Loser On Line: you’ve spent all kinds of money on get-rich-quick Internet schemes or opportunities, but you’re still broke, and you’re paying for wealth opps.
  • Live On Line: when you want to slam your kid, boyfriend, or husband who spends too much time on the web, like he or she is married to the computer or worse.
  • Land Of Liberty: that’s a nickname for the United States of America; the name “Liberia” (a country in West Africa) also means “land of liberty”; it should be the description of every country where the people think they are free to own property, make a profit, and curse their leaders by graffiti, on the web or over the airwaves, without fear of being arrested, intimidated or tortured.
  • Live On Lawn: it’s the farthest distance to which an unhappy wife can exile her insensitive husband; the lawn is like the dog house, worse than the couch; I haven’t been kicked out that far…YET.
  • Little Or Lot: it’s what you tell human resources when you’re desperate for a job and a pay check, or when your income has dropped and sunk like a rock — I will take little or lot.
  • Li’l Ole Lady: short for Little Old Lady; what you call Mom, Grandma, or any female senior citizen you’re having problems with right now, or it could be words of endearment in some cases.
  • Lots Of Ladies: from a guy who just likes to hang out with the ladies; perhaps a womanizer.
  • Left Over Lady: you’re a guy, and your buddy grabbed the prettier girl, and now you’re stuck with this one; LOL!
  • S.x